It's completely normal to wonder about the woman with whom your husband had an affair. You wonder what type of person she is. You wonder what thoughts she had about your husband. You wonder what she thought about you. Often, people just do not understand this curiosity. They wonder why it matters to you. Admittedly, it doesn't literally matter, especially as you move on. But many wives want this knowledge yourchristiandate.com to quell their curiosity. Many of us feel that we could never ever cheat with someone who we knew was married to a loving spouse. How, then, could she? What does she think about us that allows her to do this?
A wife might ask something like:
"do most 'other women' think that the wife is a horrible person who is not
deserving of her husband? Because that is the only reason that I can come up
with that would allow a woman to betray another woman in this way. Is this what
most of them think? That the wife is an awful person? I'm not a bad person.
I've never been anything but a good wife to my husband. But she must not be
aware of this."
I can't speak for every one.
Obviously, I don't personally know every "other woman" in question.
However, I've gotten yourchristiandate.com
review correspondence from some of them. And I do have theories
about their thought processes, which vary.
She Often Tries To Avoid Thoughts
Of The Wife Because It Makes Life Easier: Many "other women" avoid
thinking about the wife too much. They are in sort of a denial that this man is
married. They look at the wife as an inconvenience of the relationship and they
hope that this will eventually work itself out. Many don't probe too much about
the marriage or ask too many questions - especially at first. They sense that
this is a touchy topic and they figure that they can address it in time. But
many of them do report feeling guilt when they think of the wife. Which is why
many of them yourchristiandate try not to
dwell on the thought of her. They try to think of their relationship as
completely separate from your marriage.
Some feel so guilty that once the
affair is over, they will reach out to the wife and try to apologize. Some will
tell you that this is the first time they have ever dated someone who is
married and that they never intended for it to happen. In fact, they'll claim
that they never would have believed that it could happen. They will sometimes
want the wife to know that they are not a bad person and that they never meant
to hurt anyone. And I believe that many are sincere in this.
Some Want To Believe That The Wife
Is Very Flawed: Of course, the above isn't true of every one. There are some
women who will try to vilify the wife. They will see her as the person who is
getting in the way of their own happiness and you will hear them say things
like: "I don't get why that witch won't let him go. He wants to be with
me. He doesn't want the marriage anymore. I don't get why she tries to hang on
to a man who wants to be with someone else."
Many of these women have their beliefs
because of what the husband has told them. Some husbands of course will claim
that their wife doesn't understand them or is cruel in some way, which helps
every one to justify the affair. In these cases, the other woman has thoughts
about the wife which directly reflect what she has been told.
Other times, she vilifies the wife
simply because the wife has what she herself wants.
Sometimes She Is Careful To Mind
Her Own Business Because She Is Married Also: Wives often assume that the other
woman is determined to take her husband away so that she can marry him. This is
sometimes true, but not always. Sometimes the other woman is married herself
and has no intention of leaving her own husband. She may actually love her
husband and assume that your husband loves you. But she may have the theory
that sometimes, marriages are complicated and you have to go outside of them to
be fulfilled. I don't believe this to be true, obviously, but some people
genuinely believe this.
I find that most of these women
don't think about the wife nearly as much as she assumes. Many of them are
focused on their own relationship and their own lives. Sure, some of them do
want the husband for themselves. And those in this category are more likely to
think badly of the wife. But even those will often try to think about her as
little as possible because it just makes her frustrated to remember that he is
married.
I understand why you are wondering
about this, but I am probably not telling you anything new when I say that her
opinion of you doesn't matter. She doesn't know you. And the information that
she has been given about you probably isn't all that accurate. And, even if it
was, her opinion of you is clouded by her own agenda. She will often slant the
information for her own gain. It's easier for her to not think of you at all or
if she does, to think that there's a reason why your husband is having a
relationship with her.
Most of the time, it makes it
easier for every one if the people who are cheating try very hard not to think
of the spouses involved at all. If they can chase this out of their mind, it
makes it easier to feel less guilt and to worry less about the future of a
relationship that has the odds greatly stacked against it and probably isn't
all that healthy.
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