Many wives who seek out or talk to the other woman know deep in their hearts that no good can come of it. Many later admit that there was a little voice in their head telling them to end the communication at once and to never look back. But, for whatever reason, yourchristiandate.com they ignored that little voice and allowed their curiosity and their need for information to get the better of them. They met with her and then she told them something incredibly hurtful.
An example is the other woman who
does her very best to paint the affair as a love story that will never end.
She'll try to paint herself and the husband as soul mates who are destined to
be together forever and who share a love to which all others just can not
compare. This leaves the wife wondering what this means for her. A wife might
say: "I did not reach out to the other woman. She called me. And she said
that she needed to tell me something very important that might change
everything for me. My first inclination was to hang up and to tell her to never
call back. yourchristiandate.com
review But I knew that if I did that, I was going to go crazy
wondering what the information was, so I reluctantly agreed to go. Turns out,
her 'important information' was the declaration that she and my husband are
deeply in love and that they are so close that they share a bond that can never
be broken no matter how hard I try. She says my husband has repeatedly told her
that he's never felt anything like what he feels with her and that he never had
that feeling with me - even when we were dating. She says that my husband told
her that he married me only out of a sense of obligation. She informed me that
she felt like she just had to be honest with me and tell me that I am wasting
my time trying to save a marriage that was never right in the first place. I am
so upset by this. I try to put it out of my head, but I can't. My brain keeps
echoing with her claims. Tonight, my husband tried to be sweet to me, but I was
cold to him because in my mind he was just faking it because he can't possibly
feel for me what he felt for her."
Ask Yourself About Her Motives: I
know that this must be painful. But I think it might be a mistake to just
assume that what she told you is the truth. Think about it for a minute. Does she
have any motive to paint the affair as different than it really was? Of course
she does. If she can make you think that your marriage doesn't stand a chance,
then perhaps you will back off, reluctantly end your marriage, and leave your
husband to her. Or, if she can make you think that your marriage can not
compete yourchristiandate with their
relationship, then again, you might just give up and feel that you can't and
shouldn't compete - which will completely clear the way for her.
And here's something else that you
may not have considered. People who have affairs have a vested interest in
trying to magnify the relationship. This makes it easier to justify their
behavior. It's easier to think to yourself something like: "I'm not
normally the type of person who would cheat. But this relationship was so
special and so right that I just had to make an exception. How can I be
expected to pass up my soul mate?"
It's better for most people to
think about themselves in that way than to admit that they willingly cheated
with someone they knew was married and threw all of their integrity out of the
window.
Look At What Is Real And Not At
Someone Else's Reality: If their relationship was so special and enduring, you
will learn that soon enough. But if that were true, why is your husband making
an effort to be sweet to you in an attempt to save the marriage? I just think
it's important to realize that she has her reasons to tell you what is less
than the truth. And if, because of her, you distance yourself from your husband
who was truly making an effort, she will get exactly what she wants. She will
have accomplished exactly what she set out to do.
Nothing says that you have to
believe her and nothing says you have to meet with her or listen to her again.
Many wives want to meet with her again to show her that she hasn't won. But
frankly, the most effective way to show her your victory is to move on with
your life and to secure your marriage so that she is no longer in the middle of
it - even if she wants to be.
Reality Changes: And, even if she
believes that what she is saying is true, plenty of couples save their marriage
under these circumstances. People sometimes do believe that they are in love
with their affair. But the longer that it is over and the longer that they are
no longer participating it in, the more likely it is that they come to realize
that they were wrong.
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