"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
Ephesians 6:12
Mary and Rick had only been married
about two years when Mary discovered Rick's hidden addiction to pornography.
She knew he'd viewed pornography in his single years, but he had decided upon
entering marriage to abandon what he had called a casual hobby. Mary and Rick
were both believers and knew God had His hand in their coming together in
marriage. VictoriaHearts.com review God had
confirmed to both their hearts they were truly meant for one another. They knew
the Lord had great plans for them as a couple. Now Mary was having doubts.
She was pregnant with her third
child and her emotions were a mess. With each emotional outburst, she put up a
new wall of resistance. She and Rick were like two opposing magnets; the closer
they tried to get, the further they bounced in opposite directions. Pretty
soon, she had built walls so high as to almost completely shut out physical
intimacy with Rick. Even his touch would make her cringe.
The betrayal she felt in her heart
was reason enough LatinFeels to justify the rude thoughts about him that grappled
her mind. Her unhealthy thinking was easily justifiable, and the self-construed
solutions to this mess constantly captivated her thoughts.
One night, she had, had enough.
Everyone was fast asleep while she lay in the bed tossing in waves of anxiety. Lovinga.com Mary tip-toed to the living area, and with a heavy
heart she cried unto the Lord. The words that spilled from her lips initially
involved her hurt; she told God she couldn't handle the situation any longer.
She had her Bible, and looked down
to read a passage about the power of prayer when the Holy Spirit reminded her
of God's mighty right hand. Immediately, she saw a vision of her husband having
three chains upon his back. The largest chain protruded from the back of his
head while the others were smaller, falling from each shoulder. Each stronghold
was labeled; pornography was the heaviest weight.
For the first time since she
discovered the offense, as she prayed, God began softening Mary's heart toward
Rick. She saw a glimpse of him as God did. She began to grieve not because she
had been offended, but that Rick was under attack, spiritually...that his walk
with God was being hindered. Her anger turned from Rick to the enemy and the
plans he sought for them. It was in that moment that God showed her something
else.
His mighty right hand was
positioned above Rick's head, and in it was a running chainsaw. The Holy Spirit
revealed that if she would but pray fervently (James 5:16), His hand would
begin the process of cutting each chain. Mary did pray that night for Rick's
deliverance. She also prayed that God would help her love him unconditionally
so that her joy might be complete (John 15:9-12).
Though it was not easy, with God's
help, Mary truly forgave Rick. She forgave him again and again each time he
struggled and gave into sin. As a matter of fact, Rick tried with all his might
to quit the habit! When he finally admitted the hobby was actually an
addiction, he threw his hands in the air and called it quits. He had done his
best and failed. He couldn't stop! Because of his sin, he wasn't sure if he
could be the husband God had called him to be. He asked for a divorce, and in a
heated discussion told Mary to "get out." As she was leaving, the
Holy Spirit guided her gentle words. "Rick," she said, "I will
never divorce you. I am totally committed. I will give you some space and let
you simmer down. I'll be back in a few hours."
Believe it or not, God was still at
work mending their marriage. Mary learned that it was God, not Rick, who alone
could meet her needs. And Rick eventually learned that unless God had given him
the "want to", he would have never desired to quit his
"hobby" in the first place. After acknowledging that God is the one
who works in His children to act and will according to His good purpose
(Philippians 2:13), Rick was able to humble himself.
They both vowed to neither mention,
much less even consider filing for divorce. He and Mary resolved to go ahead
and take advantage of the many resources God put in their path for help. The
healing process continued for years, but as looks a pearl after it's many
adversities, their marriage is more beautiful and satisfying now than ever!
Mary, Rick, their four children,
and many others in their circle of life rejoice that Mary did not obey reason
and justify her anger by choosing to resolve this issue of betrayal in her own
way. God honored her Hosea-like faith, and to the amazement of she and Rick,
God has called them both to help pull others out of the slimy pit of sexual
sin.
If you have an internal storm
brewing due to marital unfaithfulness, whether it be pornography or an all out
affair, God is available and willing to help you walk in love and forgiveness.
He alone can truly satisfy your every longing and meet all your needs. He says,
"Come to me all you who are weary and I will give you rest" (Matt.
11:28)
Invite His hand into your personal
life and marriage. His grace is sufficient...
Has pornography crept into your
marriage?
5 Do's and Don'ts Mary Learned:
Don'ts
1.Don't blame yourself.
2.Don't encourage or excuse the
behavior.
3.Don't assume he wants to
continue.
4.Don't assume divorce is imminent.
5.Don't ignore the issue.
Do's
1.Continually walk in love and
forgiveness.
2.Gently speak the truth to him,
and invite him to share his heart on the issue.
3.Renew your mind continually by
reading God's Word.
4.Commit to working through the
issue asking God to confirm which resources to pursue.
5.Above all, PRAY and let GOD
unfold your marriage as he unfolds a rose.
Comments
Post a Comment